This past weekend I pulled our youngest, (a mature teenage daughter) out of school, got my husband to take a Friday off from work (a small miracle) and actually had our two college kids come away with us for 3 whole days with no boyfriends, girlfriends or any other kind of friends. A rare moment in time these days. Driving away, not having told the “kids” where we were headed, I was immediately taken back to the younger years. I thought they’d never end. NO REALLY I thought they would NEVER END!! The fights, the squabbles, the spills, the explosive poopy diapers and the incessant kicking of the back of my seat. It was again like the old times but not at all how the old times actually were. I guess these are the NEW TIMES. And I like them. They don’t happen as often as when we were our little family unit but when it does, it’s precious time and appreciated by all.  

Among other things I planned to surprise the kids with booking a Zip-Line Adventure! A series of 11 Zips flying high through the treetops of the Massachusetts Berkshires. I knew each of my family members would be thrilled about it - and they were. However I was truly frightened.  But at some point I decided to just push through my fear, breathe it out and do it anyway. I thought about what I’ll be asking my Moms-to-be to do. To trust, to ride it out and allow the fear to turn into excitement. As I took the last few steps up onto the pedestal set atop the 60 foot high perch in the trees, I felt a little as though I was being led to my own hanging or perhaps I’d be asked to kneel and prepare for the slice of the guillotine! Dramatic I know but it’s how I felt at the time, trembling with every step.  All hooked up and my equipment apparently ready to go my sweet female guide said in the most calm nonchalant tone, “Just let go & step off” as if she were asking me to shut the front door or something. It didn’t compute in my brain! “What?” I asked her -there had to be more to it than that.

It reminded me so much of that moment in my second birth that had been fast & furious - shocked that I was feeling the baby’s head pushing down already and my calm nurse saying, “OK push Lisa”. “WHAT?” I proclaimed loudly? Surely she must be mistaken or kidding! It hurts too much - It’s way too scary - I don’t know what’s going to happen! I faced a moment when I somehow managed to weigh my options and ultimately chose to listen to my nurse, who up to this point seemed to be so helpful. I just let go…And welcomed my beautiful baby girl. And so it was high up in the trees - I looked into that guide’s friendly eyes and chose to just let go….In return I received the respect of my kids, my own self confidence and as they say in Massachusetts - A WICKED GOOD TIME!!!

#doula #pregnancy #zip line #birth #birth support #family #empty nest #midwife

I was instinctively careful about who I would choose to share my plans of becoming a doula with. I’m not even really sure why but apparently I was right. My first degree was in management through a prominent college. Although I went on to to become a marriage & family therapist and author, I was always pretty competent in the business side of things. I think most people still see me as a pretty straight forward, point A to point B kind of person. So most people are really taken aback when I finally spit out what I am in training for. And they don’t even hide it very well! It’s been so funny to see the looks on their faces - usually puzzlement, then some wincing followed by a healthy curiosity.  Almost none of them know what a doula is or does. If they do know that is has something to do with childbirth they usually think it’s more like a midwife. “No,” I explain. I’m getting better at describing what it is, what it isn’t and the words are starting to flow more naturally as even I get more and more comfortable with the idea. The conversation usually ends with some polite nodding while I know they are thinking something else entirely as their eyes still wide with surprise give them away. An unconvincing, “cool” is usually the end of it. But they see that I am completely in love and enthusiastic about where I’m headed and they are usually truly happy at least for that! I certainly hope that I become part of this amazing doula sisterhood who will ultimately be responsible for making the word doula a household word - one that is fully understood and respected.

Today is a special day for me. I have been approaching a crossroads in my life ever so slowly for such a long time. My youngest of 3 children is headed to high school next year and with my older 2 children successfully away at college I have been inching towards this crossroads for more than two years. I’ve tried on so many things for size but none seemed to feel just right.  I often wondered if anything would ever strike up a passion in my life and career again. Today was different. I do have a passion now. I have chosen a road to skip down with joy. I am a doula.